Emotional maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. To make it more descriptive-“The ability to express one’s own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others.” Most people today think in dichotomies, in either/or terms. They think if you’re nice, you’re not tough. But that is not true. To achieve a win win situation, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathetic. You have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you have to be brave. To do that, to achieve the balance between courage and consideration, is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to a win/win situation.
Stephen Covey, in his book- ‘The 7 habits of highly effective people’ discusses the courage and consideration matrix
If I’m high on courage and low on consideration, how will I think? I’ll be strong and ego bound. I’ll have the courage of my convictions, but I won’t be very considerate of yours. If I’m high on consideration and low on courage, I’ll be so considerate of your convictions and desires that I won’t have the courage to express and actualize my own. It’s extremely important to have enough of courage and consideratoion so that you can confront but at the same time, be sensitive.
What I am struggling with is the courage building. It’s hard for me to put my point across when I know that it will lead to disappointment on the other end.It’s harder than it sounds. But sometimes the hardest and the right things are often the same. I am still learning to build that courage.