How many of us are genuinely happy when a colleague of ours gets promoted? How many of us are genuinely happy when he/she lands an exciting opportunity for themselves? Most of us aren’t. We are upset that we didn’t get the promotion or opportunity. If not that, we are neutral about the event.
Win-Lose or Lose-win:
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing–that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!
Stephen Covey, in his book, ‘7 habits of highly effective people’ (Book review) says there is enough and more for everybody in this world, provided you are sincere in your work and perseverant in your pursuit. You can win and so can she and the world is definitely better if we thought that way.